Run # 403 Scribe Report

As we drew near to the Hash meeting point, speculation was rife--were we to
run around the go-cart track? Or maybe even around the airport runway? But
no, down a muddy country lane the two trusty hares, Tartan Tart and Nasi
Lassie were waiting with essential supplies all set up, and the parking
attendant, Semi Detached, was duly given the finger as we didn't like the slot he
was directing us into. Grand Master Paddy Puffer called 28 Hashers to order,
and just to demonstrate that he had his priorities right promptly appointed
Feet All Fungus to be his personal bar waiter. There being no new shoes
(although I had my suspicions but no name no pack drill and you know who you
are Semi Detached, oh sorry that slipped out) off we galloped on the dot of 6.
This is where it all goes fuzzy-certainly it was a very scenic run with some
docile dairy cows and a rather excitable buffalo, but as the tight bunch of
eight that this scribe was in charged along the paddy fields we could not
figure out why NO-ONE was behind us. Must've got lost or gone to the pub we
thought. We were devastated to discover upon reaching the circle that we had
only done HALF the run, but the ever-merciful GM called for all the
full-course runners to be executed by Executioners Small Bob-Cock and
Semi Detached. No 3rd-time runners so no naming ceremony but the GM and
Executioners had a lot of sadistic fun with our two visitors from Shanghai,
Deep Throat and Wanking With Wolves, both of whom were hauled into the
circle multiple times for a dousing. They were heard to comment that in
Shanghai miscreants are NOT punished by having icy water poured over their
heads--amazing, what Hash wimps they must be over there. Various other
misdemeanours were suitably brought to task, from being scantily clad
(Finnish and Horny) to defiling the hallowed uniform (Boring Bitch). Just
when I was silently congratulating myself on staying dry, the call went out
for all those with dry T-shirts to step forth, you can't win. The motley,
muddy Hashers then adjourned to Laksa Corner, a very attractive venue at the
waters' edge (handy for those comfort stops necessitated by copious beer
consumption) with regular flypasts by Air Asia. The Laksa was tasty, the
beer and wine flowed, and then came the highlight of the evening with the
arrival in the car park of four souped up modified vehicular discotheques,
complete with a crowd of completely deadpan groupies. Good work Tartan Tart
and Nasi Lassie. Next Hash will be Friday 12th December, next Hares are
Oedipussy and Boring Bitch, see you there! Cockpit.