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Run #390
The run commenced on the last day of May, don’t know if that was auspicious, but as this is my first time as Scribe I am trying to ‘posh’ things up and look like I know what I am doing. 28 Hashers turned up, the site was well signed and easy to follow, and once the circle (decidedly oval looking to me…) got organized the hares were invited to give us the low-down of the Run. Feet All Fungus and Nicolette Paul babbled on about a good course for runners, which was a relief for this person as I had been eyeing off the mountains with trepidation, and off we went. The usual supposedly non-competitive lot of front runners, took off, promptly overtaken by the rest of us ‘cos they went the wrong way, so we had a moment or two of glory before we were passed again and that lot disappeared into the bush. The markers were flour and streamers, so we had been told, and the flour was easy to read, the streamers must have blown away.
We got on to the road for a short distance and then it all fell apart. The leaders entered the very overgrown rubber plantation, took off into the shrubbery and the rest of us became a rabble of ones and two etc. As one of the ‘ones’ I promptly got lost, headed overland for the road and turned left, but decided that as the golf club was the wrong way I had better go back down the road. It was with great relief that Bangseat and others emerged from the trees to lead us home and a much needed beer. We finally all got together again about 20 mins after the runners, who of course had been into the eskies all that time.
Second circle. There had been no swilling out of new shoes in the first circle so we able to move on to appointing an Executioner, and there seemed to be some problem with Cockpit’s ability to toss water, as against passing it, so she was given the bums rush and someone else took over. Then we were treated to the edifiying sight of Oedipussy wearing the loo seat, AGAIN. His appalling crime is of offering to be scribe, not once, but TWICE in a row and he submitted nothing, using the paltry excuse of forgetting. Unbelievable. The general consensus is that he just likes the new look with the seat and wants one for Christmas. He was suitable punished.
The cry went up of “Hairy Balls’ is missing, believed dead. Two seconds for remembrance was offered, with those of us unaware of who HB was thinking it was a pretty poor way to send off a fellow Hasher, only to be relieved to hear it was a DOG not a human. So we all sang a lusty farewell to this beloved (evidently) pooch.
Then a confession by the GM, Fowl F***ker – he had forgotten to ask us our opinion of the run and to pay the Hares for their fine effort in the usual manner. The word heinous was touted loudly by all. Most of you do not realise that FF is to be seen daily searching his dictionary, his computer (possibly one and the same) looking for a substitute word, heinous having been booed out of the circle on a number of occasions. He is still looking, and so for THAT crime he was punished severely.
Two visitors were with us, evidently long time Hashers from Canada via wherever. Sword Swallower and Pucker Up. Our esteemed nosey GM made the mistake of asked PU why he was so called, and to our great delight had his head clasped in two meaty hands and a big kiss planted. I thought the roseate colouring of FF was quite becoming!!!
There were numbers of Returners, covering places like Hong Kong, Singapore, peninsula Malaysia, etc. Nice to see everyone back including our esteemed mentor Pak Baru.
There were no Virgins, no Naming Ceremony. Word was out that Aliens had disguised themselves as Hashers (as they would) and Nasi Lassie, Mini Mee and Ayam, being our three underage Hashers, were appointed Alien Spotters. Four Aliens identified and executed. Circle ended, we re-convened at Teo’s for one of the finest dinners on record. Thanks Hares for an interesting and (for some) fun run, and excellent repast, and to FAF for keeping the beer and wine flowing till it ran out.
BATTLEAXE
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